True fears

My True fear is only one thing, losing my friends. (That’s a lie I am completely freaked out by spiders) there is nothing I care about more is to keep my friends around. Death has taking to many of my friends and I am sick of it. The first time was hard, the second was worse, but the third. That is what through me overboard. I miss them… and I would do anything to get them back. They say death is only the beginning, to me it sounds like the end. What is after death? Do we just turn off or do we go to something like heaven… please don’t answer that… I don’t need people to tell me to have faith. Faith is merely an illusion. No one really knows, and that is what truly scares me. All I want is to see my friends again. If there really was a god why would he let the things like WWII or the earth quake in Haiti’s? I believe in facts and proof and right now the hand is leaning to the no god side. Now who knows in the future I may believe but for now I think we are on our own.